(Unsplash – Caroline Hernandez)
Our children’s qualities obviously root from the genetic lottery that is our family tree. Typically, the most qualities are pulled from the parents in one form or another – dad’s eyes, mom’s love for green beans, dad’s dimples, mom’s curly hair, dad’s love of sports etc. It is also possible and common for children to sometimes have some physical qualities that are shared by grandparents, great grandparents, etc. Genetics are kinda funny in their spontaneity, aren’t they?
Wanna know what isn’t funny? People who like to take credit for my child’s personality and other traits!
Forgive me, I am just a little steamy by this particular topic… Why? Well, since the day I pushed my rather large 10-pound baby out of my not-particularly-large lady-bits, people are always having a go at who can take the most credit for the way my child looks, eats, and behaves.
It was quite obvious that my child was born with a very even set of physical features that resembles both my husband and I very well. Do you want to know who I don’t see when I look at my children? Their aunts, uncles, their not-even-related-by-blood significant others, etc.
When having the first grandchild in the family, there can be a lot of pressures. Apparently, trying to find and take credit for different qualities in my child is one of them? I am sorry, but you are not going to find your traits in MY kid if you are not the parents or grandparents for that matter. Your genes play NO part in how my child turns out.
If you want to see your own characteristics in someone other than yourself, HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS and STOP trying to take credit for mine! This may sound a little bitter, but I never thought that this would be something that would bother me so much as a parent when raising my child.
Examples of the comments that drive me crazy:
- “I have brown hair too, she must have gotten my genes!” – I have brown hair…um what?
- “I love the color purple too! You sure she isn’t my kid!” – B*tch, what?!
- “She is so sweet and polite, she gets that from me” – Yeah… how she is raised by her parents has NOTHING to do with it I guess!
- “She walked when she was 6 months? Oh my gosh so did I! She takes after me!” – So did I…But being her mother would play no part in that, hm?
- “She loves pizza? I had no idea she would take after me so much!” – So does her father… But i’m sure he had no part in that either…
Now at first, comments like these were damn near amusing to hear. But, after a few years, they become worthy of mass eye-rolls and the, “are you f*cking kidding me” inner voice.
Not only are you an a**hole if you hate other people taking credit for your kids personality or things you may have taught them while RAISING them and all… But you are also a jerk if you call someone out on it by saying otherwise….
No Sheryl, my kid is not polite because of you! We raised her to use manners and to consider others. She is also just a damn good kid and only she can take credit for that!
No Josh, my likes pizza because… WHO THE F*CK DOESN’T?!
No Karen, purple is her favorite color of the DAY! That sh*t changes almost as fast as your relationship status!
No Brenda, her hair is brown because both my hair and her father’s is BROWN!
….Oh the things I would say if it wouldn’t make me look like a total twat-comet!
***May the force be with you!***