Having a child is not easy for anyone. But if you are a parent, you are fully aware that the judgment is alive and unrelenting – more than likely from experience. So why do so many obviously imperfect mothers find it easy to judge other moms for for being imperfect? Because, moms are a**holes.
Things moms will judge you for:
- Having too much money/ Not having enough
- Driving an older/ brand new vehicle
- Feeding your kids organic/ what you can afford to feed your kids
- Breastfed/ bottle fed
- Letting your kid cry-it-out/ never letting them cry
- Letting your child cry in public/ being too shy in public
- Keeping oneself physically (make-up, working out, brand of clothing, style)/ Conserving and prioritizing that time and effort for other things.
- ANYTHING YOU DO DIFFERENTLY!
So since this list is basically impossible to conclude, here is the BIG question…. How does any of these things affect the these judgy moms? It doesn’t.
It Does Not Matter What You Do
It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it, mothers who judge do it to please themselves. It probably doesn’t even have anything to do with you, personally. Ridiculous right? It just gives them the sense that they are that much closer to being considered the ‘better’ or more ‘knowledgeable’ mother. It is literally a method to boosting their own self-esteem.
Keep Away For Your Sanity!
Like a toxic family member or relationship, there is no benefit to surrounding yourself with parents you feel judged by or uncomfortable. So, drop ‘em if you can, or ignore ‘em if you can’t! There is no sense in letting them get you down if you can help it, especially if your day is already on the rocks.
“Do It For The Children”
Yeah right… Your children are more intuitive than you give them credit, especially as they get older. Do you really want your children to grow up putting themselves in situations that make them uncomfortable for the sake of others? Probably not. So if you are able to put on a happy face and keep a nice sturdy emotional wall between you and the judgy-mom posse, great! If not, F*** IT! Leave! Go find something to do that makes you and your children happy!
You Know An Insult When You See One
You as a mom, can tell when someone is trying to be helpful, and when someone is blatantly being an asshole. I can personally say when I have reached out looking for advice to better myself as a mother, I have gotten both scrutiny, and useful advice. And let me tell you, it takes a whole lot of mental strength to get insulted by someone and just let them look like a fool, rather than snapping back and defending myself (Unless one of those bitches insults my child, then the gloves come off).
A judgy-mom’s natural habitat is usually the internet, they commonly prey on those who partake in the mommy-support groups. Mostly, you just have learned to pick your battles with these predators. People online find it easier to smack-talk and be a keyboard warrior when the person cannot literally beat their ass.
Technology gives mom-bullies more confidence than ever. Just remember, the moms that are picking on you or being hateful when you willingly ask for advice, are pointless to argue with. They are doing it because they have nothing better to do and find trolling on you to be entertaining in their own sick way.
You Are Doing A Great Job
Just because someone does not always agree with you, does not necessarily mean that you are wrong. Try your best not to take it too personally if you feel that you are being bashed on. Some mothers are just too busy being judgmental to find the time to be decent and understanding human beings.
Do yourself a huge favor, and forget everyone who is out to make you feel bad about yourself. Chin up mamma, you are doing better than you think! Take care of you and your babies, and f*** everyone else! The only thing you can do, is your best!
…And If You Are A Judgmental Mom…