Image: True Love Photography
Yes, I know how it sounds and I know that it is out of my control. To some it is an irrational fear, and to others – like me – it is the anxiety that terrifies and follows them around on almost a daily basis.
You know you are truly in love with your significant other when one of the biggest fears you have in this world is losing them, and trying to imagine what life would be like to move forward without them.
I tend to steal little moments from time to time when I look at my husband. I begin to think of all of the years that we have been together, and all we have been through as a couple in a reel of emotions. In those moments, I find myself falling in love with him all over again. I always remind myself just how lucky I am to have found and married the person I consider to be my soulmate. Even at certain times where he could be a real pain in my ass, I love him too much to stay upset with him.
A huge motivator for me in moving past our arguments is that in the event that something would ever happen to him, I would never forgive myself if our last words to one another would be hostile or bitter words exchanged in a petty argument.
As a result of my fear, I make sure that any time that my husband leaves the house, I never forget to say “I love you and drive safe”, even when things are heated. Since the moment my husband and I became a couple, I have always made it a point to add a hug and a kiss into my verbal habits. My anxiety is always reminding me that if I were to forget to say, “I love you” and “drive safe” even just once after all these years, that something bad would happen.
My husband always tries to assure me that he is not going anywhere and that I have nothing to fear. But he has also told me how comforting and refreshing it to have someone who genuinely worries and cares for him, especially when he forgets to care for himself. So even though I sometimes ponder that I have worn out my concern by repeating myself every day, I will never be sorry for loving and worrying about my husband.
In the blink of an eye, your world can go from being routine comfortable, to cruel. When you least expect it to, the world tends to take away the people you take for granted and love the most. So, I intend to make the most of those moments and be sure that my husband always knows that I love him – even when I hate him. I cannot imagine my future without the love of my life, father of my children, and the best friend I could ever have.